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Source: MegaHAL Chronicle
May 14, 2005

Chili finger

SAN FRANSISCO, CALIFORNIA (AP) -- Police say the finger that a woman found in a bowl of chili came from an associate of her husband's who lost the digit in her bowl.

He worked with then-mayor Willie Bryan on a car, and even worked at another fast-food chain for food poisoning.

But his appointment as the chief enforcer of church doctrine was sharply criticized because of the clerical sex abuse that's so important for the common good.

He said authorities "positively confirmed that this subject was in fact the source of the fingertip."

She has denied placing the digit in an industrial accident. "She denied placing the digit in an accident last December," Davis said. "Such a 'cafeteria' approach to the church is deeply opposed and is frequently openly mocked and abused."

He also reviews all sex abuse claims against clergy, to see whether a priest would be available to everyone, and helped convince the city to broaden the requirement so that any member of a household -- including blood relatives -- could receive benefits.